In this dynamic environment 21^st Century leaders are faced with many challenges and competing priorities. We have access to more information and resources today than ever before, yet this access has not made our lives easier and many of us find ourselves in this vicious cycle of trying to find the “sweet spot” which is the intersection of what our organization needs, our personal competencies, and what we are passionate about. At the heart of those challenges are “people issues!” There is no way around them and no one is immune to the challenges that getting results through others presents. Yep, “more people, more problems” and your ability to identify the role that different people play in your life and the impact different relationships have on your personal and professional growth will determine your level of effectiveness.

The people, who got you to where you are now, may not be the people who will take you where you need to be, and you have to be OK with that! It was so difficult for me to reconcile how people that were so instrumental in my upbringing and early adulthood would not have the same level of influence and relevance in my life now. I couldn’t understand how a person that I shared so much history with would not be a part of my future. To help me navigate through this, I’ve discovered that there are three (3) different types of people you will encounter:

PEOPLE WHO ARE WHERE YOU USED TO BE

Each of us can identify people who are where we used to be. I remember being a young professional and having workplace mentors who talked to me about the importance of professionalism and developing professional competencies. Who knows where I would be if Diane didn’t tell me to take out my second pair of earrings? As a 21^st Century Leader you should be identifying those people and working hard to and reaching down to help them as others have helped you along your journey.

PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING WHERE YOU ARE GOING

Peer mentors are an invaluable resource as you continue to grow and develop as a leader. Peers are right there with you facing challenges as you are and provide the encouragement and the nudge to “continue on” even when you wanted to quit three times before lunch! You should be reaching out to your peers and actively investing in those relationships.

PEOPLE WHO ARE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE

Who are you personally connected with that is doing what you want to do? Who has achieved what you desire? Who do you allow to speak into your life and hold you accountable? Those are questions that you should be asking yourself as you identify your mentors and maximize the relationship that you have with them. There is a wealth of knowledge to be gained from mentors as they have paved the way and know what pitfalls to avoid and can help accelerate your progress. You get the most out of those relationships by being responsible for driving them forward and reaching up to those who are where you want to be.

Whether you encounter a person who is where you used to be, where you are going, or where you want to be you have to be able to discern when to engage and when to disengage with them. Those of you that have learned to waterski know the importance of knowing when to disengage! You’re in the lake, skis parallel and pointed upward, rope with the right amount of slack between the skis and you tell the driver to “hit it.” If you engage the skis at the right time with the acceleration of the boat, the ride is the thrill of a lifetime. However, if there is a change in the environment and a wave comes that gets you off balance, if you don’t disengage from the boat by letting go of the rope, what was a thrill can turn into a nightmare… Yes, I’ve drank my fair share of Lake San Antonio in California to attest to this!

The same applies to your relationships, knowing when to engage and when to disengage the people that you encounter will make the difference between those relationships being on the ride of your life, or letting someone drag you like a rag doll while you do your best to “hold on…!”